Maybe I am not being judged so often as I am being experienced.
Some people respond to their disappointing experiences with judgment, to be sure, but some—maybe many if not most—are responding more simply to the experience itself.
If I don’t follow through on extending a previously mentioned invitation to a night out, the experience may well be quite disappointing without necessarily involving any judgment that I am a flake.
Their experience of disappointment, in fact, is a compliment of sorts, because a positive anticipation wasn’t fulfilled. I would enjoy nothing more than knowing a date with me was anticipated positively by someone.
When I read judgment into all negative experiences of me, I am passively experiencing a door of sorts closing in that relationship instead of a door opening to a redemptive opportunity. (In this example to apologize and make amends, which, also in this case, would almost certainly have been received with forgiveness and a wonderful shared meal together.)
A prudent caution to those of us sensitive to others’ perceptions.